Catching Up

Wow! It's been a while since I've been on here! We've been extremely busy with home school, Darren graduating from Ivy Tech (YEAH!), spring cleaning and everything else! I'm ready for a break, but I don't see one in sight yet!

A while back, a preacher had prophesied to me that there are many storms. He used the word "are" as if to say "right now", but I knew it wasn't "right now", but that it was in the future, whether sooner or later, I did not know, but I knew I was going to have to get a bulldog grip on God, if I was going to pull through. The man of God also said that I would need to walk by faith and not by feeling during those storms. Well, I thought I had a strong enough grip, but not long after the storms started coming did I realize I didn't have as strong a grip as I thought. In fact, I felt like I had lost ALL grip. I'm only now realizing that, although I feel like I've lost grip on Him and felt like a failure in the process, He never lost His grip on me. Talk about truly losing control of life! If there is one thing I've learned in the recent weeks, it's that God TRULY is in control of our lives and there will be times when we will have NO control and there is nothing we can do about it but stand still and let God do His work. There have been a couple of times I've even looked at Darren and said, "I've been saved for over 20 years and I've had some rough battles and fierce storms, but never had I felt like I was capable of losing faith in God over it. Somehow my faith sustained me and I was still able to trust in the middle of it all, but now, after all these years of being saved, you would think I would NEVER feel the way I'm feeling right now!" My faith in God, my trust in Him, my hope in His promises, were all shaken and honestly, I shied away from singing songs that talked about healing, that talked about how He keeps His promises! To my shame, I know, but I was so shaken, I didn't know for sure what I believed! I knew what my head was telling me and that someday I might pull out of it, but my heart REFUSED to believe anymore! Talk about losing grip, but thankfully God understood my anxieties and fears, my questions and my doubts and kept His grip on me when I felt like I had lost it ALL! He's spoken to me in dreams to comfort me and let me know that HE will STILL get glory in my life and He has a plan and that it will all work out! I don't know what God has up His sleeve, but one thing I know. He has never failed me. He is God alone. Even though I feel shaken to the core and wonder if I will survive the storm, He is NOT shaken. He has all things in control and I must surrender my will and what I want done to Him and let Him have complete control. I don't know what all the outcome will be, but I know He loves me!

 This is my sweetheart! He graduated on Saturday, May 5, 2012, from Ivy Tech Community College with an Associate Degree in Education. I'm so proud of him! I love him!

 And this is his happy and proud family! I hate having my picture taken! I can't believe people actually have to look at me like that! LOL! Of course, my little girl is beautiful! She's photogenic! Darren looks handsome

 ~ in his gown! ~

This past week, Darren and I celebrated being a couple for nine years! I remember a couple of weeks before I met him, I had a grandpa in the hospital hanging onto life and we got the call (I was at work) to come to the hospital because he was slipping away and I remember crying on the way to the hospital, talking to the Lord, telling Him that I hated going through something like this because I didn't have anyone. I had never lost anyone close to me before and I was finding it difficult to go through it alone. I told the Lord I wish I had someone to share the hurt with me, and be there for me. I got to the hospital and it looked bad for a while, but he stabilized! I was able to go home and Papa held on for days. The next weekend, a friend and I went to Bro. David Miller's meeting he has at the end of April and there I met Darren and we started talking. A week later, he came down and we went to a gym where the graduation banquet attendees were gathering and we had a wonderful time! About 4:30 in the morning, we left and made our way to the church, where Darren was staying and dropped him off. I had a couple of girls with me, and before we left, Darren handed me a letter to read. At the end of that letter, he asked if I would be his girlfriend! I thought it was so sweet. It made me think of being an elementary school kid! LOL! So, of course, I said YES! That was probably close to 5am, maybe. Me and the girls headed on home and I had no more gotten home and settled into bed, when the phone rang. It was the call I dreaded. My papa had passed away just a few minutes before. (This is making me cry...) I sat on the side of my bed in shock, and all I could think of was that God had given me my hearts' desire, giving me someone to share my grief with, just minutes before Papa passed away. Ever since then, Darren has been my shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with, love, my reason to live. I know this is probably getting mushy to you all, but I stand in awe of God's goodness. He knows how to provide anchors in our lives. Darren is my anchor, given to me by God. Jesus is my ultimate anchor, but I am also thankful for the anchor he's given me in Darren. Moriah is icing on the cake. :) I love my family.

And I better quit now. Sorry for a long blog. Haven't been on here for a while and making up for lost time. I'm listening to the song "I Trust You" by James Fortune. It's beautiful. God bless you, my friends.

~Jennifer~

Happy Easter!

Hope everyone had a good Easter. The weather sure was nicer than it has been in the past, where Easter is concerned! Thankful for Easter! To me, it is the most important day of the year to celebrate!

This past week has been the longest of my life, I think. I didn't realize it, but I see it now after the Lord was moving in our service last night. One of our lay preachers in the church was preaching our vesper service and he was preaching about getting a double portion of God! And he mentioned that he kept feeling like there was someone there who had been battling the devil all week, and how the devil has really been giving someone the run-around, and that's when I realized that was EXACTLY what had been going on! With me, at any rate. I'm sure there were others, but it's funny how you get into a battle and it's so easy to get confused and wondering what in the world is going on and not even sure which way to turn or go, and feeling LOST! I won't go into ALL the battles I've faced last week, but I will tell you this, I don't know if I've ever had an onslaught from the pits of Hell as heavy, hard and FAST as it hit last week! Now mind you, this is NOT a pity party I'm throwing here! I am just sitting here amazed that I did NOT know what was going on for the most part! I knew I was in a battle for my life, but there were some things going on that I thought was just LIFE when in fact it was the devil trying to make me THINK it was just LIFE! He has a way of making us as children of God ACCEPT the things he throws at us, when we need to realize he is just trying to rob us of our joy, peace and faith in our FAITHFUL GOD!!!! I would love to honestly say the battle's over, but it isn't. I will say though, I feel renewed and have a sense of direction, knowing what I need to do now to keep focused instead of being so confused. The devil is the author of confusion and I am so thankful for one young man who obeyed God and showed me that the devil is behind all the turmoil taking place right now.

I am so thankful to have my little family in church for Easter. What a blessing it is to go to the House of the Lord and celebrate His life in us!!! Because He got up, I have hope in this life AND in the one to come!

So glad He's alive! Hallelujah!

Surrendering Dreams

We all have dreams. We all have visions, desires, goals. I've been thinking. If you want to build a house, you must first consult an architect. He has the degree and the necessary know-how to bring about just what you need. At the consultation, you sit down with him or her, tell them what you desire in that house, and then you must TRUST him/her to draw up something that will at least MEET your expectations, and hopefully even EXCEED them. If you don't trust that architect, and want to try to do the work for him, you might leave out something very important or hinder his work so much, that he gets frustrated and gives up on you! You have to trust that he knows what you desire for your home, let him do the work, then he will show you what he drew up. You might be surprised at the things he might have drawn up, things you would have never dreamed possible, or even thought of at all! Because he is a master at what he does. He's drawn many homes and has experience in his field. He should be able to be trusted.

I said all that to say this: God is the master builder of our homes, our lives. I remember praying a while back about some dreams and desires I had and was wondering WHY I wasn't seeing them fulfilled! My heart was hurting and broken because inside, I knew I had to surrender them to Him if I was ever going to get peace of mind. I remember telling the Lord in that prayer, "God, I have dreams that are NOT sin, they are not bad! In fact, Your Word PROMISES these things! But I feel like I have to give them up! WHY??? Other people have their dreams fulfilled!! Why not me??? I don't want to give them up! I'm afraid I will never be happy! I'm afraid I will never see those dreams fulfilled if I surrender them!"

How little I knew... God is my Master Builder! He is building my home the way He wants it and I have to learn to trust that He will build it right, and most often build it better than I ever could have! And you know what else I have learned? We don't say we surrender our dreams, as to annihilate them, but give those dreams to God, let Him make something beautiful out of them, and place them in the "building plan" He has for you! Just like I would desire a huge kitchen in my new home, the architect knows what I want, but I have to let go, let him know my desire, then STEP BACK and let him do what he does best!!!! I could take the work from him, too scared to let him do it, because I'm afraid he won't make my kitchen right, and thus cheat myself out of a fabulous kitchen, all because of my FEAR of LETTING GO and trusting the builder.

I hope you understand my point. God CAN and  SHOULD be trusted as the builder of your home. He knows your desires, He knows what you have need of, and He's already got it all figured out in the 'plans', so please don't hinder His work by tying His hands with your doubt, fear, unbelief, and lack of trust! He can do the work, and He will do it better than you could ever imagine!

If you will trust Him.

Counting Blessings

Hallelujah! My beautiful, but often stubborn, daughter has finally mastered riding her bicycle without her training wheels. She's been trying to ride without those dumb wheels for a while now, but has been too scared to let go, but now, TODAY, she has decided to conquer it all on her own! What a shock to look out the window and see her just SAILING past the window like she's been riding for years! This mommy is proud and so thankful!

The white bass are hitting down at the river now. It sure is early for them. They don't usually hit until late April til Early May. I think this whole world is messed up. But hey! It makes for nice family outings! After Darren got off work yesterday, he came home, loaded up the fishing gear, I loaded up the cooler and picnic supplies, and we headed down to the lake and ate sandwiches and fished, enjoying our rare family time together! So thankful for the day we had, making memories as a family. We caught a couple of bass last night and then Darren went fishing again early this morning and caught a couple more nice sized fish, but he had to go to work, so couldn't stay. He will go again tonight. I'm hoping for a good catch! Just wish I could go, but he won't get off work in time to come get us before it gets dark. I'm wanting some fish!

I'm going to try my hand at doing some fried chicken a bit different. I like the skin ON and my skin gets too hard sometimes. We will see what happens. If it looks as good as it's sounding to me right now, I will post pics later. (I came back and posted this pic.. Here is my chicken after it was done... Please overlook the towel under it.... It had to drain on SOMETHING! :) But the chicken was good!)

This woman is thankful for the warm weather we have been blessed with and looking forward to many more days of nice sunshine and warm air! So thankful for God and His promises! And His faithfulness! The verse that says 'the trying of your faith worketh patience'? It's been going through my mind a lot the last couple of days. I've been dealing with some health issues that are troubling me, and I feel like it's a trial of my faith! I will come out on top, with the Lord's help! I know what God has said and I know what He's promised, and He will hold to His promises! Of this I am confident!!!! This is a pic of what God told me to buy and pray over, so I bought TWO pairs! I'm praying for twins!!!! :)   Call me whatever you want! I believe God will move! I don't know when or how, or if it will even be by ME giving birth to them, but God has heard my desire, this I know, and He will move for me!

One last thing, this is what my sweet hubby bought for me for my birthday last year and I have loved this thang!!! I love primitive themes and wasn't real crazy about Americana until I saw this bedspread! I won't have any other! It is 'til death do us part' on this one! LOL!

Today, I am just counting my blessings and savoring them slowly. The days will come when I will feel challenged to STAY focused on them, so I want to take the time to soak it into my brain all the good things HE has done for me and how blessed I REALLY am.

I am blessed.

The Mark Lowery Influence

I'm trying to decide if Mark Lowery is having a positive influence on my 7 year old daughter or a negative one! She is good with one-liners, and she uses them liberally and often at all the wrong times! He often refers to his mother in his "speeches", alluding to his childhood, referring to himself as a hyper-active child. In his childhood, according to Mark, he had testing done to see if he had mental problems, only to find out he was very normal (I still think his mom needs to get a 3rd, 4th, and 5th opinion, or as many as necessary). According to him, his mother said, MARK! I was hoping you at least had brain damage! What an inspiration to my growing daughter! When she gets frustrated with me, she says, MOM! I was hoping you at least had brain damage! How can I correct my daughter when she is so plainly influenced by what WE call CHRISTIAN comedians? LOL!!! He often talks about his mother being a screamer. He asked the question - "Do you know what a SCREAMER is?" I hear those words ringing from the lips of my daughter, a healthy helping of air from her lungs accompanying them! In her way, she's telling me that I am screaming, or SHE is screaming and wants to make sure I know what a screamer is! We were going down the road the other day, and she made the remark that garage doors were going to fly open any minute. Again, referring to Mark Lowery 101, he said everyone knows when his mom hits that "certain pitch" when garage doors all over the neighborhood start flying open. Ugh.... And you know what? Mark isn't the only 'influence' in my darling daughter's life! No thanks to Rodney Rathbone from Adventures in Odyssey! He was carrying a jar of bees in his backpack and was seeking revenge on a teacher when another student discovered what he was going to do and threatened to tell! Rodney grabs him by the shirt collar and says, "If you tell Dr. H, I'm gonna POUND ya!!!!" One night, when Moriah was around three years old, she kept getting out of bed for some reason or another and I kept telling her to get back in bed. Finally, I told her if she got out of bed again, I was going to spank her and she said calmly, serenely, and SERIOUSLY, "If you DO, I'm gonna POUND ya!"
WHAT?
 Sorry.. But I had to laugh!!!
We had this conversation once: Moriah, doesn't it bother you that Mommy works her head off around here and you don't help? ~ Her answer: Mom, I'm just trying to get some use out of you!
Ugh!
What do you do with a daughter who is full of one-liners and is full of wit and grit? I must tell you...
Life is never dull around the Jones' home.

Stars Shine Brightest In The Darkest Night

I'm not a fan of darkness. It implies fear of the unknown, fear of losing your way, no light to see by. I hate the dark. A lot goes on in the dark that without light, it's hard to distinguish what 'that noise' was. But, there are some things I like about the dark. No, I still hate the dark, but I could not enjoy the stars at night if the sun was out. Because of the darkness, I can enjoy the stars, for they are beautiful, and the darker, the better. I look at the stars and am constantly in awe of how big our God really is. I'm amazed every time I see the stars. A beautiful sight, and it doesn't cost a single penny to enjoy God's creation in such a marvelous display!
But yesterday I was reflecting on some of my past and I am still amazed at how great God's grace is! There are 'dark' times in my life I wish I could go back and erase. Situations that were out of my control and I wish had never happened. I KNOW it wasn't God's will for some of the things I faced to happen, but instead of letting it go to waste, God used it to make something beautiful out of it! I stand amazed so MUCH because of how far He's brought me! I was thinking back on a certain situation not of my own making when I was young and although it was a lonely time, a 'dark time', a time of tears and unhappiness, no friends and no one to talk to, God used it to do something in my life that I thought would never be. People told me I would never BE anything and would never DO anything and it was very discouraging. I tried hard to pray, not understanding why people felt that way and why they felt they had to tell me. It was a dark time to me. Now, the amazing thing is, when I think back to that time, yes, I remember the loneliness and the hurt, but I remember the 'shining stars' better! All I can think about was what God did in my life at that point and the hurt and loneliness is a faint memory. It was during this time, when I had been told I would never be or do anything, that GOD Himself began to teach me how to play the piano! I loved going to the malls, but at that point in my life, I was DESPERATE to forgo the shopping excursions just so I could be at home alone, to play and sing to my hearts' content! It was my time of service and praise, since I wasn't allowed to go to church at the time. That was MY church time! I didn't see it then, but looking back, I see how God was carrying me, even though I didn't feel like He was. I felt like I was struggling, trying to make sense of all the confusion in my life, but 'now I see how He was there for me' (words to the song "I never would have made it) and carried me! So, although the loneliness was there and the darkness was there, when I look back at that time in my life, all I see is the STARS, not the darkness. I wouldn't see the stars if it hadn't been so dark.
So, as much as I hate darkness, I try not to focus on it because that's when stars shine the brightest.
I never would have dreamed I would be where I am today. Most people might look at me and not see much, and that's okay. I know where I come from and where HE brought me from, and believe me, I am doing things and going places I thought I would never go or do!!!! There have been many dark nights in my life, but God in His mercy, wisdom and grace, has not allowed them to go to waste, but put some stars there to remind me He was there and He carried me! So when I reflect back on past troubles and trials, I don't see the pain, hurt and loneliness.

I see STARS.

In the Dark

Moriah told me her Sunday School lesson this past Sunday was about God making the world. The teacher gave each of the students a piece of paper, turned out the light, and told them to draw a world on the paper, if I understood correctly. My thought pattern kept going, though.... I remember that God spoke to the darkness FIRST and said, Let there be light AND THERE WAS LIGHT. I'm not discrediting the teacher because I don't know how she taught the lesson or what her point was, so I don't want to be misunderstood and someone think I am criticizing her. But my mind got to whirling with these thoughts. He spoke light to the darkness first, not because He needed to see what He was doing, but that when God does something, He chooses to do it in the light! God is light! It takes God to make a world and He did it in 6 DAYS!!! We cannot do that, even if we had all the light in the world! There is so much more to be said about it, but that is enough for me! Just wanted to share!