One More Blessing

My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, with the help of some really great friends, keeps right on amazing me! We went to church tonight, visiting some old friends. I almost didn't go because I had suffered with a headache all day and wasn't feeling well, but decided to go at the last minute. I am so glad I did! We had an awesome service! The Lord spoke to me directly through prophecy and let me know that a lot of my feelings were just that! Feelings!!! I don't know about anyone else, but I think I can safely say that ANYONE in the ministry gets like this from time to time! I had been feeling like I had come to a halt and felt like I was going to wither away and die. No more ministry, no more anointing, and so on. But the Lord let me know tonight over and over again, saying, "I will use you, I will use you, I will use you, and you will experience a greater anointing than you've ever experienced!" I was overwhelmed to say the least! But so thankful! After the service was over, we had another surprise! I've mentioned before that Moriah is FINALLY starting to show some interest musically. Darren has been teaching her the drums, and she's been stepping out singing in church, begging to sing most days, and she has ALWAYS expressed a desire to play the violin! We've been price checking, waiting to find a good deal on one! Tonight, after church, someone came to me and said, "Don't leave yet! We have something to give Moriah!" I was thinking, "What in the world?" Lo, and behold, they came back inside and they were carrying a case and gave it to her. She thought it was a guitar. She didn't act too excited because she already has one. But they told her to open it! She opened it and inside was a VIOLIN!!!! I about cried!!!! I couldn't believe it! Moriah's eyes lit up and she hugged that case all the way home! I can never say "thank you" enough for this wonderful blessing to our family! I am STILL in shock! But so THANKFUL! Tears come to my eyes just thinking about it! How good God is, just when you feel down and need a good "pick me up", someone does something like this! I know God loves us and most times I feel His love, but there are times when I need assurance of His love and knowing that He's there and not only listening, but moving on my behalf! It's times like these that make me realize there IS a GOD up there looking down on us and giving us favor! I don't deserve it! Why me? I am thankful! I don't know what will happen in the near future for our family, but I feel better knowing He's going to help me! And use me and my little family!!! Thankful!!!!

Our Story in Pic Form! :)

This was taken a couple of years ago when her hair was a bit shorter. We rolled her hair to her head, just to see what the outcome would be......

And this is the result! Shirley Temple look-a-like! One thing about it, she might not have natural curly hair as curly as mine, but she definitely has body! LOL!!!!! I was looking through a lot of my pics and I couldn't believe how much she's grown in the last little bit! She was 43 or 44" tall when we started school back in August and now she is 47"!!!! WOW!

This is Moriah on her first day of Kindergarten, holding our favorite kitty, Stuffing (Moriah named him that)! It was fitting to name him that! He turned out to be a rascal and we all loved him, but he was becoming a nuisance to our neighbors, I think, so we had to get rid of him! We have wished him back MANY TIMES!! We love gray kitties! (sniff, sniff) We love you, Stuffing (pronounced Stuffin by us!!)

She has a way of looking at her daddy.... I love these pics!

These two are a lot alike, in case you didn't know.... When you are around them long enough, you will realize this!

Very first day of school for her! She had never been to school before, never rode a bus before, and this pic was taken while we were waiting for the bus! Her smile was everything!

Priceless! So glad I got this pic! Glad she was smiling and excited, and not crying! She did well and got off the bus later that day with excitement in her eyes!

Now, she is getting so grown up, it's almost a sin for kids to grow that fast! So baby fever is really hitting bad, because I'm not ready to let go and be "ole mom"! She needs siblings and I'm trusting the Lord for at least another child! I'm praying for TWO this year! :D We will take whatever we can get, won't we, Moriah?

THE END

My Hero ~ True Story

I grew up in church most of my life. I cannot go into all the details of my life, but I've had my share of pain and hurt. I've had my share of misunderstandings. I've had my times when I felt so alone that no one knew of my pain, hurt and loneliness. I remember as a young girl, hiding behind a face, so quiet because I felt like no one wanted to hear from me. No one cared what I had to say. Pain was hid behind a smile. I was a slave to Satan and was driven to do things that even now, I'm not sure anyone knows what all I was involved in. And really, I wasn't involved in much at all. Mostly, rebellion was in my heart, but I did secretly listen to rock music a LOT before I got saved. But there was a voice telling me no one cared and no one was interested in me. No one loved me! I deserved every bad thing that ever happened in my life. When God would try to deal with me, I ran away because I was convinced He didn't care, either. But as time went on, I began to realize that the deal the devil was trying to make with me wasn't getting me where I wanted to go. It didn't feel very good. One night, as I was preparing for bed, there came a "knock" on my "door". I laid there in my bed, scared to death, heart beating fast, afraid to breathe, because I knew who was on the other side. The voice I had been listening to all my life was yelling in my ear, DO NOT ANSWER THE DOOR! HE HATES YOU! HE WANTS TO HURT YOU!  There was the punch line! HURT!!!! I guess the devil was trying to play his trump card. He knew I had been hurt so much, that he wanted to use that line to prevent me from getting the healing that HE wanted to bring me! But, this girl had had enough. I told that voice, If that man can help me AT ALL, I am answering the door and there isn't anything you can do about it! As I opened the door and got a glimpse of the man on the other side, my heart broke in many pieces! There stood a man with His hands outstretched and said, I took this for you! They wanted to hang you, they wanted to hurt you, they wanted to kill you, but I stood in the way and asked them to take ME instead. Here are the scars and wounds to prove it! All because I love you! I couldn't bear to see you hurt like that! His eyes were shining with love for me! He did not show me the scars to shame me, but to prove how much danger I had been in and though I was unaware of the danger, He stepped in and took the "hits" for me. His body bore the marks of a man who had been in a fierce battle! He showed me the scars to show me He loved me! What a love! I had finally found someone to love me! I was so distraught by the pain He had suffered for me, it broke my heart! But those same hands reached out to me, took me in His arms and held me like I had NEVER been held in all my life! What a love! Not only did He take the suffering for me, He won the battle, so I don't have to be afraid that they will come hurt me anymore. They have tried, but He has somehow kept me from feeling that pain I felt before He came on the scene of my life! Sometimes I still hurt A LOT, but all I have to do is run to Him and those same arms will hold me! It brings tears to my eyes when I think about the many times I've had to run to Him for comfort and He has NEVER let me down! I finally found someone who understands my hurts and can bind up the broken pieces of my heart! And someday, hopefully before too long, I will get to see that man face to face literally. This story has been laid out in the room of my imagination, but the content is very REAL!!! I have a real friend, who's name is Jesus, and He HAS been my friend, and always will be. He DOES love me! He holds me and comforts me! Why anyone would want to reject such a friend, I will never know! I guess they are in the same position I was in. That voice of the devil telling them that Jesus will hurt them and that He doesn't love them. It's a lot easier to believe that lie when you are convinced no one loves you anyway. It's hard to believe in someone who will love you unconditionally! There isn't anyone else in the world that loves like that! But if they would only try Him! They will find what I found!
My Hero.

Keep Practicing!

Moriah is hilarious! Last night, while Moriah was in the restroom brushing her teeth, preparing to go to bed, Darren and I were in the living room having a conversation. Darren was on this kick about not being a good father and wishing he could do better, feeling bad about himself for whatever reason. Moriah overhears him and says very matter of factly, "Dad (sarcastically), you have to keep trying! You've got to PRACTICE!!!! You'll get better!" In the meantime, Darren and I are laughing and laughing! If I had said that, it would have just been a piece of advice meant to be given in encouragement, but would probably be ignored, but when a child gives this SIMPLE kind of advice, it really makes you think! She has a way of making us think!
I think I understand how he feels, though. Sometimes Moriah makes me feel like I am a failure as a mother, and MOST of the time I make MYSELF feel like a failure as a mother, and I wonder if I will EVER get it right! Then there are times when Moriah comes through for me and makes me feel like all my effort isn't in vain, after all! I've been after her for YEARS to sing with us in church and she has always balked, which was strange for me because Darren and I both sing in church ALL THE TIME! I couldn't understand why Moriah had no desire! She never embarrasses easy, but if she ever DOES get embarrassed or shy, (MORIAH SHY?????) it's when she has to get up in front of people and do something! She says she doesn't like people looking at her! Well, a couple of weeks ago, after much begging and pleading, out of the blue, she finally asks me in church if she can go up with me and I said that was perfectly fine! When we got up to sing, she came with me and shock of all shocks, she asked if she could sing "Jesus Loves Me"! What do you think my reaction was? I said, "Of course you can!" And every service since then, unless the service went another direction, she has sang in service and has even inspired another girl in the church to get up and sing with her! Now, Moriah LOVES it!!! Now all I have to do is teach her wisdom in singing in church! That will come with experience and age! This mommy is SOO happy to see my little girl FINALLY getting a desire to sing! She has a beautiful, strong singing voice! LOUD!!! LOL! This mom is happy! Now, if I can just get her to show the same kind of interest in doing her school work, I WILL feel like I have accomplished something...

Please Be Patient

I am still trying to get this blog up and running. I would like to post pics sometime in the near future, but with the demands of life heavy on me, it's hard to take the time (and time it WILL TAKE) to really make this blog worth a visit! So I hope you all will be patient with me and check back every once in a while to see how I'm doing. I appreciate friends and hope to continue our friendships. Thank you to all who have stopped by, made comments, and "following" me! :) God bless you all!

Servant or Slave?

I read something interesting today after my earlier post and found out the definitions of servants and slaves. Now, I had a relative idea of the meaning of the words, but wanted to see what Webster's had to say about it. In essence, being a slave means you are forced into service against your will. You have NO choices in life! You COULD choose to do something against the master, but you will suffer consequences. On the other hand, being a servant is a debt that has to be paid, a chance to repay someone for a service done them. If I could choose between being a slave or a servant, since I have to be one or the other, I would rather be a servant! Being a servant is a privilege! Being a servant comes with responsibilities! I was chosen to be a servant for God! I was a slave to the devil! I had no choice in life! I had to do what he said! NO CHOICE! But when Jesus came along and saved me, He gave me the liberty to make something of my life! People get the misconception that being a servant means you don't have a life! But I do have a life! Yes, Jesus is in control of my life! Only because I want Him to be! The devil had control, but he took control of it without my consent! Jesus will not take control without your consent! O, there is so much to be said about the difference between a slave and a servant! I think you get the picture! I surrender as a servant! That is the better life!!!

A Servant's Heart

I don't know about anyone else, but it's hard to be a servant. No matter who you are, YOU are a servant. We all serve one another. We all have someone we have to answer to. I am to be a servant of Jesus Christ. I strive to be a good servant. To be honest, its hard sometimes. I have goals and dreams I would like to see fulfilled, but I have noticed that I get SO focused on them, I lose energy to serve in the here and now. In 2011, I was so consumed with a desire to have another child, I'm ashamed to admit the number of opportunities I have passed up to fulfill my servant's duties to my Savior. All because I was so consumed with desire to have another child. Now, there is nothing wrong with wanting more children, but I realize now that it can become such a weight, that I can fail as a faithful servant. Also, His word is full of promises to people in such a situation as I found myself if only I would have clung to those promises, waited on Him and TRUSTED! I look back now and see my life was so full of mistrust, I cry over it! Tears are in my eyes even now because my heart is breaking over the many times I am sure my Master has been disappointed in me over my lack of faith and TRUST! I am so thankful for His mercy! What would I do without His mercy? I finally let go and told my Master at the end of the year that I was done worrying about it, and would not pray over it anymore. And I was! For about a month, I never mentioned it, although I still shed tears a time or two. I was ready to move on. Until one day, I was at Wal-mart, and I was walking past the baby department! Normally, I would rush right on by because seeing all that stuff broke my heart anew and it was everything I could do to keep from breaking down right in the store! But, about three weeks ago, while I was walking past, I felt the Lord SOOOOOOO strongly, felt Him impress me to go over to the baby socks and buy two pairs of socks, and pray over them! People may think I'm crazy and it really is taking a big step in saying this, but I felt Him so strong that day, and what a PEACE!!! I can't explain it! I don't know when or how it will happen, but I know He knows my heart! I am currently making a baby blanket, too! :) I know He hears me, and loves me, so I don't have to worry. And I'm not going to. I don't want to ruin this year by missing my opportunities to accomplish what I wanted to accomplish ten years ago! I'm leaving my dreams in His hands, believing He will take care of it! I want to be a good and faithful servant! Is it really so hard to be a servant to Him, when He's done so much for me? I think the answer is obvious.